When I was pregnant with our son 8 years ago, I remember a new friend asking me “How will you do it?” I muttered “Huh?” “They said “You know…..taking care of him and any other children you have.” I didn’t know what to say so (as per usual) tried to joke my way out of it.

For Brian and me , we were older when we married..I was 27 and God rewarded me with the man of my dreams. Brian was almost 31 and ready for marriage! We thought we would do the standard American gig…be married about 2-5 years and then we have kids. Isn’t that how it works? YOU make the plan, right? Wrong.

God had 4 years of painful infertility planned for us…to learn suffering, pain, and loss in a way I have never experienced before. Then, after having my son, I got pregnant 3 more times and lost all these precious babies. One was a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and almost cost me my life from internal bleeding. Thank God for our Dr. Ben Zivney!

Because I had worked in television and radio news, and (most wonderfully!) been on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ for nearly 5 years after college graduation, I had enjoyed an exceedingly FULL career that changed my life. I loved it and it was a joyful investment in eternity!

Brian and I had committed that when (which sadly started becoming an “if!) we had children, I wanted to be home with them as much as possible. After spiritual mothering for years, I realized how short these years are and how FAST they go.

In my mind, I thought…”OK, we have a good 8-10 years of training and then it’s GO TIME. After that, my son and daughter’s  friends will be a primary influence, as well the culture. So, the decision was made…I would make the most of all given…time with them , domestic labor ( Yipe! Ha!), training and discipline, and most importantly, preparing them to know GOD and obey Him. (PLUS…lots of jokes, laughter, silliness and chocolate as any appropriate childhood would have! Needless to say, my husband is my candidate for “Hands-On Father of the Year—every year!”

For many wonderful women, being at home all day with your children is NOT an option…you have been abandoned, widowed, or need extra finances to put food on the table. Your children will always remember the sacrifice you made for their well-being..that you put their needs above your own!

Being at home all day with your children is hard…and challenging ….and rewarding. I have never needed Jesus like I do now. When you are in your home and struggling with patience and that same DISNEY princess machine playing over and over, you beg God for silence. When you step (for the 15th time) on those LEGOS because no one picks up, you cry out for help from God. This is the REAL DEAL. THIS IS THE TEST. NO ONE IS LOOKING. Now, how will I respond?

I have one recourse….TOTAL DEPENDENCE and a RESPONSE OF HUMILITY. This is a GREAT GOD we are dealing with. HE has GIVEN you the most blessed gift of children for you to show them God . This is the next generation that we are training up…with a society that needs HIM SO MUCH. Don’t you love it that your children see YOU are not Jesus?:) They get to see you ask for forgiveness, struggle with anger, sigh because your are sick of laundry, and be brain dead in the morning!

MAY YOU BE BLESSED AS YOU ARE GIVEN THIS MOST NEEDFUL TASK! Your REWARD will be great!
tristie fisher

Sisters in Christ,

I hear from many of you about your current “calling” from God -that of being a Pastor’s Wife.  People OFTEN ask me “What is it like for you being the PASTOR’S WIFE?”  I always say the same thing, “Same as before!”

This is, in actuality, a fantastic question.  As always, it is solely based on our PERCEIVED IDENTITY.   I was on staff with a para-church ministry for 5 years before I married Brian.  So, my identity (in my heart, spirit, and my mind) was based on being a “missionary”.  Granted, I was not married, had no children, and was raising support for myself.

But, there was one thing that has stayed with me as a CONCRETE truth.

I am a MISSIONARY first.

*There is no question we all have different spiritual GIFTS…some to give, some to serve, and some to teach.  How glorious that Paul teaches that we are ALL to pray and  ALL to love!

Now, that I’m married and have children, I get to add to my circle of influence and love !

Now, I get to understand the JOYS and “bumps in the road” of marriage!  Now, I get to go to a “Play Group” and say “Oh, I know…my kids do that too!”   If I am filled with the Spirit
(i.e. walking with the Lord) , I get to love, lead, and impact …..as a missionary.

Ask yourself…”Do I find my significance in BEING a Pastor’s wife?” or “Do I find my significance in being a “Daughter of the King”  whose value to the Kingdom is insurmountable?

Only YOU can be YOU.

You are called to be a “helpmate” to your husband and his calling as a pastor (loving the congregation pro-actively and serving where needed)….most importantly, to LOVE him.  He is your #1 ministry.

If God gave you children (one of the ultimate gifts!) then this is your #2 priority. As my wise husband says, “Only you can be their mommy.”  I want to look back and say “I gave them my “all” in the context of a healthy marriage example and love for Jesus!”

I love the empowering truth of God’s Word!

John 15:16…”You did not choose me, but I chose you that you should GO and BEAR fruit and that your fruit may ABIDE…”

May God bless you!

Love you and Standing with you…
tristie

I met with a dear friend today and was reminded of what constitutes a “good meeting”….it is not getting through material, keeping lists, or sticking rigidly to a plan.