Beloved Sisters…I have written many of you about my vision for this blog in encouraging women…of every stage of life.

As I prayed today, I felt led to write to my many single gal pals. I remember Brian saying something to the effect “Pain in trial has everything to do with proximity.” It’s true…when I was single, it was hard. When I struggled with infertility, it was hard. As I try to parent and help with a large church and a lot of people , it is hard.  During singleness, the trial was LONELINESS, during infertility and miscarriages it was GRIEF, and now (especially we age!) it is FATIGUE.

Perhaps some of you are as I was, I thought marriage, great career, children, and a cool church would make me “happy”. I found out all of those ideas were wrong. Isn’t it interesting that we find these things out as He cuts them away? The PRUNING process is one of our greatest gifts. ANY faith I put into an object or person can be idoltary. (And we all know what God thinks of idolatry!)   It is an empty cistern promising refreshment and delivering deceit!

So, how do we struggle to walk through and endure (possibly enjoy?) singleness with GRACE ? I think there are a few things that can be helpful…..

1. ACCEPT LONELINESS. Every human alive has dealt with this emotion (though many like to act like they have not!). It hurts, it’s hard, but it is endurable by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus was lonely, Paul was lonely, Billy Graham (who lost his wife almost 2 years ago) is lonely. Perhaps better word is “aloneness”.  It is so hard to not be like everyone else and experiencing their joy but perhaps God is hiding your diamonds! Let’s all realize that JESUS is the only answer to my thirst and that He hears my prayers. Then, I trust.

2. REALIZE YOUR IDENTITY....you are not a wife, girlfriend, “best friend”, mother, CPA, CFO, or VIP….If you know Jesus Christ, you are a DAUGHTER of the KING. This is the ONLY identity that will STICK with you for the rest of eternity! Everything else is transitory….every phase changes and all people change.  ”JESUS is the same yesterday, today and forever”….isn’t that glorious that (even if the world or others change) He keeps His promises? You are His and truly only His…forever.

3. STAY IN THE WORD AND HANG WITH LIKE-MINDED WOMEN…there ARE women who don’t just talk about men, clothes, and television shows…find them!  Better yet, ask God to bring them to you…HE WILL. James 4:8..”Draw near to God and HE will draw near to you.” ASK HIM, BELIEVE BOLDLY for good, pure, and godly single women friends and you gals revel in the glory of the PERFECTION OF CHRIST with your eyes calmly waiting for opportunities but locked into Kingdom priorities. If it is His will (“good, acceptable and perfect”) He will be the Eternal Delivery Man and you will see His plan for your life unfold. Trust Him now…HE is building you from the inside out.